| Bored and Lonely |
[03 Sep 2004|12:40pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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When my ship comes in - Me |
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I am so bored right now. And lately increasingly lonely. I don't socialize because the only places that seem to be around to socialize are clubs that are nothing but drugs and drinking or bars which arent much different. Both offend my beliefs religiously and generally. My family has had hard lives because of alcohol and I dont want to bring that back into the forefront.
I wish I could not be so shy, anti-social, and unconsciously formiddable to others. My mom says I have this "don't touch me" body language if someone gets too close in my space, and honest to God I dont even know I do that. But I know where that comes from, because for the 12 years of my life people have acted like I had some sort of disease or grossness that touching me would make their world come to a complete end. Maybe I just shy away like that because I'm afraid that someone will think that. I think I'm so self conscious its become unconscious. I guess thats why I have no friends.. and no boyfriend.
I know my attitude could be a little less bitter and sad, but where could I pull my source of happiness from? A game, or story of some overwhelming love? Those are fun things, but not exactly real life and don't apply to me. I want love so bad I can taste it. But I don't know how to get it, or even where to look for it. And somehow, even in my family it seems to be so hilarious and unbelieveable that someone could love me. The teasing starts whenever the notion comes into play that I might like someone, or that someone might like me. But the latter is usually never true in the "love" sense. Even my co-workers, I once said this guy was cute, and OMG scandal of the YEAR! -snigger snigger hey guess what, she thinks that guy is CUTE!! Can you believe SHE would think about anything other than FOOD?!- That is what it always seems like.. so I feel a little self conscious about even saying how I feel about this subject. Family, and Co-workers do it and when I was going to church, they would do that too.
So.. whats the big deal? I've known girls bigger than me, and not to sound judgemental but not as pretty as me having all these wonderful romantic love lives, married, got kids, and loves to talk about it.. so.. whats wrong with me? Why can't I have that too..? Why is it so funny if I find someone attractive, why is it so hilarious if they want to be my friend, or -gasp- my boyfriend? I'll never understand.
I feel like a monster, and my emotions are ruled by those who see me that way. I feel like "I can't say i like him someone might laugh" or "if I try to become a friend rumours are going to fly that we are having some sorrid affair and how hilarious is it that its with a fat girl" Why do I have to just be alone. Why do people even my own family have to act like that? I don't want to be stuck here in my mother's house with just enough money to keep me afloat without bills.
Sometimes, even though I am 24, I feel like I am maybe about 13 years old. I can't afford my own house, my own car, I don't have a license (which however I am working on) and I can barely afford the basic needs without my mothers help. I am stuck in a city thats only good jobs are in the next city over, many miles away, and all the jobs here I am too overqualified for and are stuck in. I can't get to the better paying jobs because i dont drive and my mom wont drive that far and most wont even accept me since i dont own a car. I'm stuck in a retail job that pays dirt and sucks away my free time till I had to go part time to stay sane. Will things ever change? I want to move foreward with my life. But I feel chained to my 13 year old countenance, standing still anguishing over seeing everyone I know passing me by in good jobs, buying nice houses, getting married, having children.. moving forward with their lives, being so happy.
Not that I would begrudge anyone that kind of happiness. I just wish I was in that race with them. That I could be happy like that. Mom says if I want to one day leave she will understand and realizes that I am grown up. So, if ever I could I know it would not be so bad for her.. I just wish I could..
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| Cute! |
[12 Jun 2004|06:46pm] |
| How to make a sailorvivi |
Ingredients:
5 parts intelligence
1 part brilliance
5 parts ego |
Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Serve with a slice of lovability and a pinch of salt. Yum! |
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[14 Feb 2004|06:46pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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music |
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Show me the meaning of being lonely - some boy band |
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I never realized today could be so hard to get through. ::le sigh::
I dunno what to even do with myself. I wish I would have just stayed in bed today.
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[10 Feb 2004|12:40am] |
woot that worked now I want to try testing something else.
( Read more... )
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[10 Feb 2004|12:37am] |
Just testing something. I made some icons and I want to make sure I can actually link them here ^.^
 One of my tributes to Ayashi no Ceres, by Yuu Watase.
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[30 Jan 2004|07:52pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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Outlaw - Plus One |
] |
Blah, everything seems boring lately. I quit TNC about two months ago, because I really wasn't going in anyway and the administrators would not teach more than the very basic number 1 lesson when we started begging for some formal training. When I complained, after months of being in a rut, of course they threw my absence and lack of assignment in my face. One, of course I didn't do assignments they never assigned any, and they hadn't taught me more than building and always were complaining about the database getting too full - which I can understand that. So how can I fulfill requirements without the knowledge of how? You can't sew a dress without needle and thread or a pattern (unless you are talented), so how can you do something no one has taught you to do? gah.. Anyway, it wasn't completely that, that put the final nail in my guide career's coffin, but a "friend" who had recently become a guide and was progressing by leaps and bounds (which is a good thing for him, except I really feel it gave him a big head) decided to start hounding me about my non-guide player who had also been absent from the game. As a guide, playing by itself just got boring, not to mention that the modern storyline was more mafia shooting you up type play, which was not at all my characters story. So I said straight out - I think I am quitting TNC altogether, because its not fun anymore as a guide or as a player. So, he asks me to finish my character's story with his before I make my final exit, and I agree to that because thats only fair. However, instead of letting it go at that and giving me the proper time to think about HOW I was going to tie up the story.. he, in the same IM in the same conversation, kept rattling off that I should either email, snail mail or call him for it and its like "I got the POINT! Give me time" I didn't say that, but thats my thinking. Finally I said "Boy you sure are in a hurry aren'tcha?" or something very like it. Instead of him getting the hint that he's making it look like he reaaallly wants me out of the picture - he continues rattling off explaining why he said snail mail yadda yadda yadda. It really made my annoyance meter soar and I don't consider myself an easily annoyed person. I can handle a lot from people that I consider friends. But I finally got to the point to where, I was just so angry that I said to him "Yanno what, if you are in such a hurry to get rid of my character, you go ahead and do it yourself, if you want it that badly. Delete both my characters - Forget the tie up, I don't care anymore." Paraphrasing. I am sure I probably included more in the IM but thats all I can remember.. and I just went offline. I was shaking.. even though I hadn't played her in a long while, it just irritated me that he wouldn't shut UP about it. Well, the point of this paragraph was, thats part of my boredom, can't go in there anymore even if I wanted to.
Now.. Achaea is another game like this one, except it is built far superior, has a large playerbase, and is text based - but its environment is an original fantasy world, which makes me even happier to play in. However, its been pretty boring of itself as of late. Alazuel, my character in that game, has had a pretty interesting story going for her up until now. She came to Sapience (the mainland in the game) as a shipwreck survivor, stowing away from a family that tossed her around when the finances or their patience got too thin to keep her. Turning 18 as a stowaway turned unofficial entertainer/magician novice she started with a jolly time and ended up nearly dying from the shipwreck. Nursed back to health by a riverside elder in the small village of Tasurke, he recognized her powers and suggested her to join the Sorcerers guild in the city not too far away named Hashan. She did so and lived over 50 years of her life there, working her way up the ranking ladder in the city and her guild. She became a Guild Secretary of entertainment, and for the city she was the Steward in the Ministry of Hashan, an ambassadors aide in which gave her the ability to screen and citizen newcomers to the city, making sure they knew the laws and would abide by them. Earlier in her life, the very first person she got to know was a Mhun man named Sorley Fireshroud, whom helped her when she got lost. By the time she had gained the prestige in her endeavors so had he, but the stress became too much for him - and he betrayed the city. As a Minister of Trade he used his resources to empty the city's banks of its gold, and the commodities stocked to supply for weapons, enchantments and other goods that relied on those things. Even still, Alazuel loved him and after going through people tracking her to try and kill her husband, her mother whom she met in the same guild she belonged to, orchestrated a secret meeting in the forest treetops - where it would be hard to track someone, and he told her he had not betrayed her, just the city for their inability to understand his suggestions and participation in the city details. The Gods had by that time plagued him with many punishments and it could be seen by the extreme slump in his shoulders - his burden quite heavy. But after that meeting, after his promise to return to her, the Gods intervened further after he made a mistake that further angered them, and they charged him with the ultimate punishment. The punishment being permanently transformed into a shrubbery, to remain in the Darkenwood forest. Alazuel took this news hard, it had been months after the meeting that she learned of this and reluctantly she severed her marital ties to him as he was by all accounts dead as a sentient being. Many years passed, and small relationships budded between Alazuel and few of the denizens of Hashan and Eleusis - but one never stood out so much as the one she embarked on with Nosgard Talobar. Nosgard was by all accounts a nice lizard man, whom tried his hardest to do the best for his city and his monk guild. As her relationship with him grew more serious she began to see how hateful the citizens of Hashan were to him, and at first she didn't understand why. But the more she heard him talk, the more she realized what fueled his casting out. He had a talent for saying the wrong thing, or a hateful thing, without apparently realizing the implications of said statement. A few times, some of those directly affected Alazuel and they were broken up for a time. During this time she got pregnant with her second child. (The first was by Sorley and she had long grown up and began her own adult life elsewhere) Nosgard, despite picking up a relationship with Alazuel's sister after the breakup, wanted Alazuel back and pled with her to reconsider. After thinking long and hard, with an open mind, despite her family's vehement demands for her never to consider him again, she took him back feeling that he had known what he had done was wrong, and would never hurt her again. This was her worst mistake. Zuelly was born, and Domenico was adopted, life was good while they were engaged. This time the engagement went smoothly and the wedding was a fabulous and lavishly planned with bards singing, ballgowns and tuxedos waltzed on the meadow floor. Just before their marriage, Nosgard and Alazuel moved from Hashan and her Guild to the Arcanists (another form of sorcerers) to the city of Cyrene. They moved due to hurt feelings over other leadership opinions of Alazuel being attacked, posting blame upon her for their lack of city security. But while they were happy for two or three years together, Alazuel began noticing changes in Nosgard that made her uneasy. Call it instinct, call it regaining her sense - but she had to ask him "Have you been cheating on me?" He admitted that he had, and she was heartbroken, sick to her stomach, and angry all at the same time. She after speaking how she felt on the matter, divorced him. He begged her not to, and begged her forgiveness. But the one he had accused of having an affair with vehemently denied the claims, and had more of a leg to stand on than he did. She had more evidence in this, and the fact that he would lie that he had relations with another woman only seemed to be rubbing salt into the wound. Alazuel soon broke the news to everyone, and apologized to her family for not listening to their wise advice. Later, she learned his lying ceased to know any bounds as the Guild she had wanted to get into, had been told by him that she was a tagalong, and that unless he was accepted she would not join. This was not true, as before she learned of his treacherous ways, they had discussed where they would go after moving from Hashan and it was her suggestion to try for the guild of Runewarden. Learning the truth, the guild refused his application and accepted Alazuel into their fold. By this time her adult children had accepted that their mother would move on with her life, in Cyrene, and not in Hashan where they were born and raised. During the discussions the children felt as if Nosgard were trying to steal Alazuel away from them, to have her all to himself. She didn't believe that was the case, since it was her decision to move, not his though he was happy to go. Still in Cyrene, Alazuel has been unable to find her niche, in the guild or in the city. Cyrene is much different than Hashan was, and it seems there are so many more things to remember in laws, and in duty - and feels a little overwhelmed by such talented people, that it feels useless to try and weasel into an important position. Though she has married again, to one who posesses the soul of Sorley, he has of late been absent. So here she sits currently, and thats her basic story thus far. I have skipped a lot of detail (even though there is a lot of detail here already!) because if I included everything about all her children, etc. it would be a book, not a journal entry ^.^
The past month or so has been so lacking in roleplay or story that I am becoming restless. So, I've resolved to *try* and pick up AOL roleplaying again in some way. Right now I've decided to roleplay a character in a novel I am currently writing - not the main character, but one of his crewmates, and kind of tell the story from his point of view: what his goals are, how he got to be on his captains ship, and all sorts of things. If I can find a good group to RP with, I might just be able to flesh him out more as one of the key members of the main charries crew. Its weird though because ever since GEM became defunct, its been hard to find a good, intelligent, roleplaying forum that focuses more on 1)good story, 2)good writing, 3)less dice 4)more strategic fighting. If anyone who is a roleplayer, and reads this, knows of anything like what I have described that accepts new members and their stories, pleaaaaasssee comment, or email me at VLRVickiVLR@aol.com. I will love you forEVER!
As far as videogames go, I am in chapter 5 of FFX-2 and have been running around Mi'hen highroad for a week and a half in real life, leveling up my characters. Yuna is like 82, Rikku is 85, and Paine is 86 or 87. I want to get them to 99 before I go take on the hotspots, cuz I just want to finish the game I dun want to struggle through it and lose interest before the end. Hopefully this will work ::GRins::
In anime news, after almost a whole month without access to anime - I was soooo relieved to finally buy the last volume of Chobits, and Louie the Rune Soldier ::insert tears for Chobits:: I actually liked Louie's ending, but I kind of wish they had, had the storyline go throughout the series, and we could see Louie's maturity grow, instead of suddenly spring up out of nowhere. I was happy that Louie did turn out to be the "valiant champion" in the end, but I wish he'd gotten more reward out of it (come on Melissa, give im' a lil lovin!) Anyyyywaayyyy.. I also watched Yu Yu Hakusho Terrible truths (I think thats the name, one with the 3 humans with superpowers that kidnap yusuke) unfortunately the only dvd i could get my hands on was the cartoon network edited version ::le sigh:: but I still enjoyed it, no cussing, yelling and all. Then I watched Saiyuki: The Gods of War ::BIG DROOL:: Sorry, can't help it but that God of War is pretty darn kyoot! He kind of reminds me of Aoshi from Rurouni Kenshin, except Horoma talks a lot more than Aoshi. Theeeeennn, I watched the first dvd of Angelic Layer, just to see if I liked this one (okay, how could I question? Its CLAMP work for Petes sake!) and yes I liked it a LOT. So, next time the trip to Media play comes... I will be getting volume 2 and 3.
I was a bit disappointed that no new inuyasha was out yet but then in Animerica I noticed 2 new ones are on the way the month of February so I'm pretty excited about that. What I reaaaallly wanna see is Shaman King, One Piece, and Naruto in anime form, even though I am reading them in Shonen Jump each month. I think out of those 3, Naruto is my favorite. I can't help but Naruto is hilariously charming.
Well this writing has been pretty entertaining so I will say for the time I wrote this I wasn't bored. teehee. Bleh well back to reality. Ciao!
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| Happiness |
[24 Jan 2004|10:09pm] |
Happiness
By Vicki Robb
(Happiness is...)
A long lost child
Left alone in the wild
Chaos bubbles all around
Happiness is nowhere to be found
Oh love, where have you gone?
Separated completely, we once were one.
The balance teeters on
Pain won, joy gone
When will it stop?
Down to the ground or up to the top
High or low
Where it stops nobody knows.
(Happiness is...)
A runaway train
Nowhere to go and speed to gain
Headed for a roadblock
A perilous journey, given for lost
(Happiness...)
Might as well give up
No happiness will turn up
Why give it a shot
when others will not?
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| Tears |
[24 Jan 2004|10:03pm] |
Tears
By Vicki Robb
I'm crying again today
Why does this sadness continue to stay?
What have I done?
Am I the only one?
Whose only crime is
Just simply to look like this?
My tears keep falling
My heart is only crawling
When physical pain feels good
Cause my heartache hurts more than it should
I look at the present
Past no better than recent
When was this suppose to change?
Real life's the same, just rearranged.
People are heartless
Their tongues are swords manifest
Their bite is venomous
Their jokes are callous.
When will my tears stop streaming?
When will my heart stop screaming?
When will I finally be happy,
Free from a life thats just crappy?
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| Breaking Heart |
[24 Jan 2004|09:58pm] |
(A poem based on one of my RP character's viewpoints)
Breaking Heart
By Vicki Robb
Can you hear it?
I know you hear it loud and clear
We once vowed
The union of our hearts love
Where once our hearts beat one
You went and hurt me
Now the beating is gone
Can you hear it?
I know you hear the gong
The crackling, shattering
You've made my heart all wrong
My heart shatters so loudly
It hurts and I hope you go crazy
Feel the aching
Feel the breaking
You've killed me with your lies
My heart believed in you inside.
I won't be that naive again
I won't let in even a friend
To secure my heart
I will forever be apart
No love will end or start.
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| Winds of Change |
[24 Jan 2004|09:52pm] |
(Written from one of my RP character's point of view)
Winds of Change
By Vicki Robb
The cool breeze lingers in the still of night
The desire for warmth left unfulfilled
The walls remember our happy times
The rose lined paths remember our bursting love.
The sea boasts our heartfelt past
The moon held vigil our cozy nights last
Our candles burned as the sun's light,
Then came the wind, came making the light dim.
Passing through our lips,
Surging through our bodies
The chaotic signal arose,
Showing you'd sunk to all new lows.
Singing praises to the hate of betrayal,
A warrior spirit moves on
The winds of change become a ride,
Through the storm & rain inside
Will I once more, love you? Never again.
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| Out of Place |
[24 Jan 2004|09:43pm] |
Out of Place
By Vicki Robb
Out of Place, Out of Place
Far away or in your face
Be in a crowd, yet be out of place
Pose and Dance, but feel you lack the grace
the cool people get and they laugh
Putting you in this state
Mind's going crazy, you're losing space
Even your head isn't a safe place
Out of Place, Out of Place
Echoeing down the hall, your footsteps fall
Crowd is talking while they are walking
You're all alone, nowhere to call home
As if there is a bubble around the rubble
Whats left of your life, they laugh at the sight
Isn't anyone there who'd be a friend to care?
Out of place, out of place
If I died would you cry?
Would you miss me, and wish it was me you could see?
If I was hurt and left in the dirt,
Would you think twice about doing what's right?
If I was hungry would you pass by me?
Leave me alone to starve and be cold?
Out of place, out of place
There once walked a man whom God had a plan
He did nothing wrong yet he wasn't strong
Society made fun and he kept on the run
But this one was only God's son.
Kept on believin' even when friends were leavin'
He looked up to the sky, he kept his head high
The pain he suffered was not buffered
He truly knew, what it was you're going through
He knew and yet he died for you
He has said get outta bed
You my child are beloved and entitled
to all my kingdom, to all my love
Look in my face and you'll never be
Out of place.
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| Helpless |
[24 Jan 2004|09:33pm] |
Helpless
By Vicki Robb
Shaking on the inside
Frustrated on the outside
The duel masks give no indication
of how I truly feel
Cry by myself, then go to work
Smile and say everythings fine
Hear my chains, against me they clink
Cheerful bells, I've made everyone think
Falling into an endless pit,
Screaming inwardly, smiling outwardly
Feeling chained up, despaired, and helpless
Feeling chained up, despaired, and helpless
What can I do? How can someone like me
Change anything? So helpless, helpless, helpless
Chained up, tied down, caged in, falling away, helpless anyway
Can I ever be free, can I ever be victorious? My helpless self continually asks.
Can I ever... helpless.
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| The Chaos of calm |
[24 Jan 2004|09:25pm] |
Okay I think I am going to start, besides a dream journal, also start posting my poetry here in memories whenever one hits me. These are copyrighted, so please do not take any of them.
Here is my first one:
The Chaos of Calm
By: Vicki Robb
The chaos of calm
came on innocently, silently
Rustling leaves lose their resolve
As night steals over
And takes the soul of dawn
In the thundering silence
Of the deepening night
When the brilliance of day
Has passed from sight
And time has taken on another day
A page of history passes away..
Time rumbles low beneath the earth
Threatening its many woes
As Nature caresses away its hurts
And you reap what you sow
Casting off final fetters
And dark digits surround you
Beware of the deep cold weather
For many, the calm of chaos slew.
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| Come and fill my heart |
[16 Jan 2004|03:40pm] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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Come and fill my heart - Avalon |
] |
This song I came across from my mp3's today, and it really speaks to some feelings I've been having lately regarding a certain someone..
Come and fill up my heart
By Avalon
Free, I long to be free,
I long for the day I believe
that all you said you see in me is true
Thats hard for me to do
Hard for me to die to myself
and trust my life to someone else
So come, empty me out
I'm no good without
You inside of me
Come and fill my heart with hope
Come and fill my life with love
Come and fill my soul with strength to carry on
Because from here the climb is steep the road is long
Come and fill my days with dreams
Empty me of all the empty things
that I hold on to
Come and fill my heart with you
I, need you, in my life
need you like the air that I breathe
you become the very heart of me
and I, I can't believe my eyes
Can't believe the dream that I've found
you're love has turned my life around
So come fill up my heart
Till I'm like you are, so deep inside of me
Come and fill my heart with hope
Come and fill my life with love
Come and fill my soul with strength to carry on
Because from here the climb is steep the road is long
Come and fill my days with dreams
Empty me of all the empty things
that I hold on to
Come and fill my heart with you
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| Animals, Bull, and the Inheritance |
[15 May 2003|02:49pm] |
This morning I had an extremely crazy dream. My mom seems to think it means something. Now I don't remember all the dialogue so I will try and paraphrase the best I can. Please read and post or email any ideas you think this might mean:
At first I dreamed I was in the next city over, with a group of about 4 women, all older than me, one was talking and pointing about a Plaza of empty shops, saying one would be a popular restaurant here. After looking down the road a bit, the dream shifted.
I found myself in what looked like what I can only describe as a paradise in a forest. The leaves on the trees shimmered a shiny dewy green against the soft sunlight that peeked through. I travelled down the dirt path, not very far before I came to a clearing. The clearing looked paved into a large rectangular looking space, where twin sparkling inground swimming pools were on my right and left, both of equal size and both were filled with a brilliant see through blue water. On the left was a large birds nest, and sitting in it was an equally large robin, who amazingly enough was talking to another animal which stood in front of the nest. I could understand the language but cannot remember what they were talking about. On the right was a small huddle of larger than normal squirrels chittering about something ( I could also understand their language.) Behind the clearing the dense forest rose up to the skyline, which was a brilliant sky blue with not a cloud in the sky.
After a period of waiting, I finally felt the need to interrupt the Robin and the other animal's conversation, by saying something to the affect of "I hate to interrupt but I thought you should know that..." I can't remember how I finished it or what I wanted to let them know. Suddenly, rising above the treetops was a gigantic Indian looking creature, headress and all, but it looked as if it were made up of translucant blue water, and it glimmered as if the light of the sun were catching its every movement. The Indian looked as if it were running with angry determination, the headdress flopping from his momentum and then dived over the treetops and suddenly I felt myself being rammed almost bulldozed by the indian, and everything went black for a moment.
I again was at the clearing where the Water Indian had plowed me away, closer to the Robin and her nest again. The Robin had said to me, 'Yeah Bull is one you don't want to mess with, he's a killer.' I seemed to have knowledge that when the robin spoke of Bull, he meant the Water Indian that had 'killed' me. (In this sense at first I thought I might have been dreaming about a game where death isn't a permanant thing.)
The dream again changed and I was on this street in what appeared to be a tourist town, and a nice looking blonde haired guy about my age came up to me and said something to the affect of, "Well here it is, you earned your inheritance." Then handed me several large stacks of neatly packed 100 dollar bills, so much that I could barely hold onto them and employed both arms hands and chest to keep all together. The dream seemed to fast forward and I had been worried about getting knocked in the head for having so much money out in broad daylight so the guy and I started running as fast as we could toward this tall apartment building. Fast forwarding again, when we entered the apartment its like we had met up with the rest of the 'group' which consisted of four or five more girls that seemed to be about my age. They saw the money I carried and two or three commented or looked jealously at me for having so much money, and I remembered feeling uneasy and wishing I had thought of buying a safe to put the money in, before coming up to the apartment room. And thats where I woke up.
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| Yay |
[11 Oct 2002|10:37pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
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music |
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Million Pieces - Newsboys |
] |
I finished my first website I've ever started hehe. Usually I can start one fine but never finish them. Click my web site up top and check it out ^.^ ::Beam::
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| Need help finding communities |
[04 Oct 2002|06:20pm] |
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music |
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Blue bleeds through - Michael Sweet |
] |
I'd like to find a community with a Lord of the Rings subject who might know about something I am having trouble with in my game. I cannot get past the big tree and if I get too close it killed Merry and Pippin. I wish someone knew..
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| .... |
[02 Oct 2002|12:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
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music |
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Dead end Moon - Kevin Max |
] |
Okay I feel better today. I got Lord of the Rings XBox game and the last Rurouni Kenshin dvd. ::pouts and goes to watch::
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| Somebody kill me? |
[01 Oct 2002|08:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Humiliated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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kill me |
] |
I'm in a really bad mood. I am stupid, totally devoid of a brain. I can't begin to say how much I want to be dead right now. I really hate being alive.. no matter what I do, I always manage to screw up a good thing. Someone dig me a hole so I can go die..
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| No Touche! |
[30 Sep 2002|02:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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The Lamentation of Owen Roe O'neil - Celtic Mystique |
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I wrote a really neat poem for my character Alustriel. I'm not usually much for poetry writing but I was in a weird mood. And Alustriel was bored and sitting at the river when a weird man had approached, glared at her and left. Little did she know it was a vampire, who in turn bit her later! Yipes! But this is MY poem, no Touche! Hope you like ^.^
The Chaos of Calm
By Me SailorVivi!
The chaos of calm
Came on innocently, silently
Rustling leaves lose their resolve
As night steals over
And takes the soul of dawn
In the thundering silence
Of the deepening night
When the brillance of day
Has passed from sight
And time has taken on another day
A page of history passes away..
Time rumbles low beneath the earth
Threatening its many woes
As Nature caresses away its hurts
And you reap what you sow
Casting off final fetters
And dark digits surround you
Beware of the deep cold weather
For many, the calm of chaos, slew.
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